I am on our porch, wrapped up and listening for my man's sign that he has been successful for suppling us with good, clean meat to sit on our table.
He is out hunting today.
I heard his shot ring through the mountains....
He is on his way home now.
My man provides us with blessings.
Too excited to think straight... too much to do to prepare.... Dear God, the day has arrived when my love comes to settle in our home.
He will be early, happy dance... lordy be... I must get ready... my heart is beating out of my chest. He will be here 6 hours early... sigh... What do I do first? sigh... Need to shave my legs..lol... wow..
Thank you my Heavenly father for the blessing I am about to recieve.
I so love my man. exhale........... Later... I got very important things that must be done. *smile*
Write the sc
rehearse it in your mind,
then go out and
perform it to the best of your ability.
It was a very long tiresome road trip. I felt weary and down right wore-out, running on empty.
I begin my very slow trip down a one way dirt road back to my home in the woods.
All of a sudden I see something ahead. My headlight not quite upon the moving ob
Within minutes my eyes behold....
A tall slender, well built ... man in a robe... A second later he flashes me. lol...
I creeped closer to see better and yelled... more... more...!
I was delighted to see more!
Ain't LOVE grand!... So was later on..may I add. TMI... LOL...
I went to bed early last night only to wake up in the middle of the night..or,, early morning hours. ;-)
So here I sit, my first cup of coffee for the day. My mind is on the run and what better place to empty it then here.
This year has been overwhelming. So much new and different, full of changes. Changes of things that are from within and ..*smile* my new home, life style.
I spent the past week with my mother. I have not had the best of relationship with my parents/family. My folks are full of anger and negative stuff. Everyone seems to be so full of complaints, woes, sickness....blah blah blah! They all fight and argue, back stab and no one seems to be true blue.
I thank God I am not like them. They are so sad and miserable. And here I am the happiest I have ever been and.. no one wants to hear or share this special time with me. Oh well, so sad for them.
My mother pieced me apart this time like she always has. If it isn't one thing it is another. We always seem to go back to the past. 44 years back to when I was just a young teen. This time she told me if I had not been such a hard-headed girl, my life would of been different...lordy be! I was kicked out of my house at the age of 14 cause I was hard-headed.... Give me a break.
For the first time in my life, I replied with honesty..I told her.. no..If I had had good parents I would of had a different life. I made her..almost faint. ;-/ lol... sorry... I am no longer resentful, I have let it go. If only she could deal with her own guilt and disappointment... life could move forward for her.
My trip back to my home ended in a miracle, I traveled the mountains of West Virginia without trouble till the very second I came home. I lost all brakes and the car would not stop. That brought great insight into my life..right then and there. I am a blessed soul, someone up above loves me so!
The thought that my life could of ended this weekend.... is weighing heavy on my mind. I am happier than I have ever been in my 58 years on this Earth... and I am aware that ...Life can change in a bl
My man is coming home to stay and grow old with me. We are a good match, almost opposites but so alike in matters of the heart. This weekend will begin a new chapter of my life. The best is yet to come, I do believe!
There has been...IS an awakening of my soul that has been at hand these past years... I think the past few weeks has made me ... bright-eyes and brushy-tailed.... ready to take on this world with open arms and mind. I feel good, postive, loved.
Are you a true blue person?
Are you the same person, no matter who you are around?
Do your opinions, reactions, gestures vary per person?
This little lady here is one way.
I may change according to the event...setting...be calmer, quiet, or not use certain words ;-) but never when it comes to being around a certain kind of person.
I don't care if you are rich or poor.
Doesn't matter to me if you are thin or fat or pretty or ugly.
I don't care and will "try" not to argue over who is right or wrong in a spiritual matter or a living style.
I will not cramp your style.
Or make you uncomfortable.
I will not demand you to act...accordly to my likely.
If I do not accept your behavior... I will make my excuses and exit.
Dear God is there anyone out there in this world who is true blue?
Please tell me why one "kind" of person is better than another.
Why is it ok for you to be one way, believe, feel, act the way you wish and that doesn't not apply to anyone else?
I hope I know the truth of what is right or wrong.
No I do not wish to be around any one who is evil or mean.
That is all I ba
Are you a true blue soul?
In Ecclesiastes, there is a chapter that speaks of "A time for everything."
sigh... It is time for me to gather my energies.
I am running on empty. Been here and done that before. I have high expections for myself... and others... but I push beyond most. I have done my best and so much is coming about, together.
I am so full of sighs... tired, weary but on the other hand full of hope, joy and excitement.
This road trip to get my Mother is needed. I will enjoy having company. I look forward to relaxing, having a good time. This event is right on time.
The next two weeks my time will be used in enjoying the simple things in life.
Work, fixing, painting, cleaning, will all be put on hold. *smile*
I will do visitng with my friends after I get my Mother back to her home after a weeks time.
The follow week after all this fun...
My man comes home to stay. Right on time.
They say... No more than you can handle will be put on you.... sigh....
It is time for this little lady to exhale, relax, count my blessings and reflect on all that has rapidly changed.
I am blessed...Right on Time! wow...Thank you, God!
Only a little over two weeks my Sundays will begin to take on a different, brighter light.
But today, this Sunday, my heart aches so badly. Tears roll down my cheeks, my head pounds, my smile is turned upside down.
I watch as he drives away, going back to his house and my home is empty again. It doesn't even feel the same without him. I am drained within seconds of his departure.
sigh... oh my oh my... I will be over joyed when these Sundays come to an end. When no more lengthy good byes will enter my days.
Yes, I can!
At first, I had doubts, I worried if I had bit off more than I could chew.
But I didn't.
These new skills I have developed, on hands experience, learning to fix, redo, pretty-up and clean such a large project as our new home.
The energy that has came to me from my strong will and determination has surprised me.
I have found out just how well I can do.
Slow but sure,
Yes, it's no professional job done....
But A Job well done by Me!
This weekend we have our first guest to visit for the weekend. The next coming weekend, my Mother is coming to town for a week's visit.
I am about to do some magical work in my home...finishing the finish on the sheetrock, finish my painting, put down the ba
The side of the mountain that is in my face...*smile* and faces my home is a sandy side that washes out. I have 9 trees to plant, they are cork-screw willows that will get-a-hold of the ground and keep it in place... Plus the willows are magical, beautiful, crafty trees.
I claim, call this section of the mountain ... Willow Hill. I see in the future a bench, me sitting beneath the willows and looking upon the otherside of another mountain... and saying out loud to my God... Thank You!
Folks.. it doesn't get any better. *smile*
I have searched the world over... ;-) to find love. That is all I have ever needed or wanted.
I searched the four corners to find approval from others. Like it really mattered what others thought.
My life seemed to have no meaning unless shared by another.
I judged myself through the eyes of others.
I have been wrong allll my life.
The only true meaning in life and love ...starts with me.
How I love myself, how I approve and to stop judgment of myself...
Yes.... It depends on me and my relationship with my self that figures into a happy adjusted life.
I am growing, learning and nothing else really matters but the image I carry of who, and what I am, according to me!!!!
So many changes have recently came into my life. Mostly as awesome and insightful. No change comes without ....moments of insecurities, challenges, difficulties. At the beginning of adjustment... giggles.. it's a roller-coaster ride.
I was in prayer today, talking out loud, releasing my thoughts and emotions. I caught myself asking God, if he is ashamed of me and that is why I feel so alone. A bolt hit me!!!
I stopped crying, my mindset changed instantly. My eyes opened wider....
It wasn't God that is ashamed of me or the one who left me.
It was myself, hammering at my core.
Something so right, so good... how can it be.....This love I have for this man....be wrong.
There are things in my love relationship that could be viewed as sinful, unacceptable to some and without a doubt, it has complications.
My core/soul asked this of me.
1. What happened? I fell in love with a ....
2. How do I feel about what happened? I am over-joyed most days.
3. How would I do it differently next time? There won't be a next time.
4. What results would I like to see? Him being all mine without interference.
5. What insight have I gained from this experience? sigh.... A person can say..."I would never..ever do such a thing"... Well, you will never know, till you walk/be placed into that situation. Many reasons can alter your behavior in a new experience.
Well, as the song says.... If I am wrong, I don't want to be right.
Does that mean, I am a bad soul? NO.
The first of last year, in 2013, he told me out of the blue... Let me help you make your dream come true. ....
My dream was to own some land, add this small house and ....just live peacefully. Get a job, raise as much food as I can for myself, become one with Nature. I knew to be free from working 60-70 hrs a week...at my age, it isn't easy at all. I had only a few options to help me make a dream come true. I couldn't do it myself, no matter how hard I drove myself(period) So...I went down one path, nope... tried another... nope... So ..the only way a single poor woman's dream was ever going to become real for yourself and her large family of fur children...was to just hope and pray for the best.
Well, that dream of being on some land that is mighty beautiful and even living in a much much bigger house than I ever thought about... It's all at hand...right here and now. My dream came true... slightly twisted, but I live out in the woods...
I left out an important element for the dream to be a happy one .. one factor... someone by my side.
Since May this darling female hummingbird has been here. She isn't shy at all, comes face to face with me everyday.
I have a very special place on my porch that I sit that offers such an amazing view of all the trees and mountain range that is around. I do a lot of sighing, a peacefulness rushes over me. *smile*
This dear little bird, I can hear her coming when I sit down. I think she watches for me and comes by just to say Hi. I love watching her have these fly-bys or when she is chasing another hummingbird away. She is a dive-bomber, tweeting as she attacks. *smile* Too cool.
Well, I had to remove my feeders, it was time. All the other hummingbirds were already on their way south. But her, she was lingering, still flying up to me and I know she was wondering where her food was. :-( It broke me heart. Monday she was seemingly mad at me, flying around, tweeting up a storm. I saw where she landed and I began talking to her. I told her she must leave and next spring... come home. I thanked her for the joy she has given me.
I went out to the picnic table to have my coffee yesterday, as I do almost every morning. I sat down, I missed my morning greeting from my feathered friend. As I was waking my eyes caught this tiny feather sitting on the table. I smiled, I have a part of this little bird who brought such delight to me this summer. I will miss her but I will greet her this coming spring with feeders filled with food to welcome her back home.
It's been a lovely, peaceful weekend. When my man came home, we decided it was perfect weather to sleep under the light of the moon.
He pumped up the air mattress, and I made up our bed with la
What a perfect way to start the weekend. The remaining time was uneventful but still held all the peace anyone could ever ask for. We are blessed.
When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don't blame the lettuce.
You look for reasons it is not doing well.
It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun.
You never blame the lettuce.
Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person.
But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce.
Blaming has no postive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument.
That is my experience.
No blame, no reasoning, no argument,
~Thich Nhat Hahn
. . . . wake unto me.
It's the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting . . . .Before a dream is realized, the soul of the world tests everything that was learned along the way. It does this not because it is evil, but so that we can, in addition to realizing our dreams master the lessons we have learned as we have moved toward that dream. That's the point at which most give-up . . . [at this point] Tell your heart that the fear suffered when it goes in search of it's dreams, because every second of search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity. ~ Paulo Coelho
Dreams lofty dreams, and as you dream, so you shall become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil. ~James Allen
The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acron, the bird waits in the egg, and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities. ~James Allen
There are three kinds of law:
Social and moral law, or culturally acceptable behavior.
Civil and criminal law, or legally accepted behavior.
Universal law, or cause and effect.
We may avoid the consequences of breaking the first two, but never the third.
It's been a long hard day for me. I have been cleaning-up outside around our home. Cutting down small unwanted trees, weeds and raking up. Almost nightly I start a fire with all the debris I have gathered and any boxes that have been unpacked. Tonight as I watched over the fire, I got tired of standing so I just sat right on down on the ground. As I past the time, as the fire died down, I also watched the ground.
You know, it's a very busy world on the ground. All kinds of bugs roaming around, working and going places...in a hurry at times. I saw very tiny holes that tiny ants had opened up house, right next to a pebble. :-) I then caught eye of this one ant who was working so hard to bring food back to his home. Over hills he drugged his prized catch. It was a black spider that was 3 to 4 times his size. He pulled and twisted his way through his terrain holding tight to his food. I felt sorry for him so I thought I'd make his path easier.
OMG.. yup, I messed it and him all up. I flick to much dirt and he got buried alive. I found the spider, flicked it with a stick...out in the open and watched for him. Sure enough, the ant came out of all the dirt and roamed around till... *smile* He found his catch...He began his journey once again, in the same direction. Of course I did not try to help out again.
If humans had the will of an ant, the power of just one ant.... the determination of an ant.... We, us humans would be an awesome race!
Previous PostsAnd The Shot Rung-Out!, posted October 23rd, 2014
Today is the first day of my new Life, posted October 17th, 2014
Lights, Camera, Action.....Roll 'Em, posted October 15th, 2014
The Flasher Strikes Again!, posted October 13th, 2014
Wide Awake, posted October 13th, 2014, 1 comment
True Blue, posted October 6th, 2014, 2 comments
Right On Time, posted September 29th, 2014
Sunday's Sorrows, posted September 28th, 2014
I Can .... I Can .... I CAN!, posted September 24th, 2014
On Your Mark, Get Ready, GO................, posted September 23rd, 2014, 2 comments
Willow Hill, posted September 20th, 2014, 2 comments
Speaking from the heart........., posted September 19th, 2014, 2 comments
Drawing Myself Out, posted September 16th, 2014
Giving it my all...., posted September 14th, 2014
~See ya later, my friend, posted September 10th, 2014, 2 comments
Under The Moonlight, posted September 7th, 2014, 1 comment
Lettuce, posted September 3rd, 2014
Beautiful Dreamer, posted September 1st, 2014
Breaking The Law, posted August 27th, 2014, 2 comments
The Spider and One Ant, posted August 26th, 2014
Me Time, posted August 25th, 2014, 2 comments
8/24/2014, posted August 24th, 2014, 3 comments
I scream, He roars!, posted August 22nd, 2014
YOU, posted August 18th, 2014, 2 comments
Moving of body, soul and mind...., posted August 14th, 2014, 7 comments
Road Trip To Home, posted August 5th, 2014, 2 comments
Mountain Security, posted August 3rd, 2014, 2 comments
Don't Be Scared, posted July 25th, 2014
They'll be coming around the mountain when they come....., posted July 22nd, 2014
The Home Stretch, posted July 21st, 2014
Bad Medicine, posted July 15th, 2014
10 0f Pentacles, posted July 12th, 2014, 2 comments
A Secret To A Long And Happy Marriage, posted July 9th, 2014, 2 comments
Priority, posted July 7th, 2014
Count Down, posted July 6th, 2014, 2 comments
Laughter, posted July 2nd, 2014, 2 comments
Have you ever noticed . . ., posted July 1st, 2014, 4 comments
Night and Day, posted June 30th, 2014, 4 comments
Nauthiz, posted June 30th, 2014, 4 comments
Babble, posted June 29th, 2014, 4 comments
Throw-Away, Pack-It, Give-It-Away... Set-Aside for futher thought . . . ., posted June 23rd, 2014, 3 comments
Creating a Mission, posted June 18th, 2014, 2 comments
Mountain Fever, posted June 16th, 2014, 3 comments
Get-Up-and-Go!, posted June 11th, 2014, 4 comments
Form Of Abuse, posted June 8th, 2014
I Am Not In Heat, I Am In Love!, posted June 8th, 2014, 4 comments
I Owe It All To YOU!, posted June 7th, 2014, 2 comments
You've Come A Long Way Baby!, posted June 3rd, 2014, 3 comments
Town Clean Up Day, posted May 30th, 2014, 2 comments
TRUST, posted May 29th, 2014, 2 comments
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