While the Winter exists
Warmth of Spring is arriving
I draw within, with focus.
Preparing the surroundings
With rake in hand
My thoughts, feelings of anew
Brings a quiet, calm spirit.
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It was a long cold winter that was filled with memories. Not all our winter days were hunkydory. But there are a handful of moments that will stay with me/us for days/years to come.
As my man and I begin to share and care for one another, there were learning and loving days that will linger in my mind and heart.
One day while we were snowed in feeling bored and restless, we decided to just stay in bed. I grabbed some comic books and a pack of assorted crackers. ;-)
It was going to be a day neither one of us had ever had.
We cuddled up, talked on a level we both enjoyed with laughter and love. Which lead to a day of love making and friendship that opened a door for us both. We blended, and spent time with each other like we never have done. Funny how one day can make so much difference.
The bond that was sealed that day will always remain with us. sigh... Life is good!
For 16 days...but who is counting, since I traveled off this snowy mountain top.
Good and bad can happen when so idle, bored... snowed in and no place to go.
Not even a good hike through the woods. I tried a few times to go for a wintery hike...lordy be, it exhausted me. I waded a foot of snow, and trying to travel up a mountain side... at my age. Yup, it got thebest of me.
We have tried twice to get out to town but.. no such luck. My man walked out with a wheel-barrow in hand. He went to a neighbor's to ask for a ride to a small town to get some supplies. Only his feet and a two-wheel wheel-barrow could travel our driveway. It did not come easy for him, I was very proud of his strength and will-power.
But.... giggles with an evil grin... When the first snow storm was coming, I voiced that we needed to drive a car to the cemetery, which is on a paved road.... He saw no need, yup.. he has changed his tune. Am I bragging... yes. *smile* We are living and learning together.
Many things we are learning by being so close, shut-in! ;-) If a person doesn't mind or I should say... Allow themselves to learn and change.. it's all good, hardtimes sometimes.
What once served a person doesn't mean it serves you well in a changing life. ...A different life.
So, we tried to get out again this morning, a lot of snow has melted but it still is slippery...water on snow and ice is a B.....! We traveled about a quarter of a mile, and our first upgrade.. stopped us, half way up.
So... at the moment, I am all dressed up and no place to go... but crazy! LOL.... nope... all is well.
This fall I found the beginning of a tree.
Just barely peeping out the shell.
An unearth dirty lonely acorn.
I brought it to the house.
Then gathered dirt, filled a cup and reburied it.
Today it has four leaves.
Hmmnn what a blessing to see.
Enjoyed the snow yesterday. We built a snowman... scary looking but... *smile*
Not a thing to say.... getting depressed... bored to death... and tired of the cold.
Yup... I am complaining. sigh....
What's a gal to do? Snowed in. No phone. Four vehicle, stuck in place.
I want a 4-wheeler or a 4 wheel-drive truck.
Strike..the word "want" ... instead ... Need!
I say I am Me.
So why is it so hard to be free?
Is the need for being excepted so great,
It would determine my own fate?
I get tired of the ramblings in my head.
I pray someday soon I can speak out, and it will be said.
I have this special place I go to, to see many types of birds, plus squirrels and chipmunks.
All in one glace of the eye.
In my back yard is a gathering of Pines and Hollys.
In those trees are feeders and my man spreads seed all about beneath the pines.
Let's see . . . . There is the famous Pileated woodpeckers, the beautiful black and white Downys and of course... Red-Headed woodpecker. They love peanut butter!
The Nuthatchers bouncing around, up and down and Titmouses are so active, and always hungry.
Then there are so many different kinds of Finches and Sparrows. At times, the ground is coated with them. When one flys in fear, all fly away. Same with when they return to the feed..here comes one and the trees empty upon the ground. too cool!
But the fearless Chickadees and Juncos never flitch.
There were 25 Morning Dove this morning filling their bellies.
The Flycatches, Towhees, Thrashers, Warblers, tiny Wrens even come to visit us...well the feeders that is.
With all the motion, activity about, my eyes are always fitted upon the bright colors that so stands out of the Cardinals and Bluejays.
The other day, a group of ..oh... over a dozen Robins came flying in. The whole lot of birds disappear. huh...
I love my birds but ..wait.. can't forget about the larger birds I have seen here...
There were a couple of Bald Eagles, American Eagles as well. The Red-tail Hawks...Buzzards ;-) and the old Crows.
Psssttt... there are Bears and Cats here in these mountains too!
sigh... I feel so Blesed, and I thank my God each day.
I remember when I first layed eyes on you.
I was in awe of your numbers and size.
I would stand outside your limits and felt like I stood in front of a great wall.
The sun light was all about, till it met up with you.
The sun light became beams, streaking inside you.
I decided to follow those beams of light one day.
That filtered through out the maze of trees.
Every step held a new sight and another tree.
I spent hours wondering about within.
Till I exited your realm.
I turned around and glazed at your boundery and wondered back in.
I was no longer in fear of you but felt right at home.
And I ain't dancing neither! ;-)
The Devil is here to collect.
I am reaping what I have sown.
It's time to pay the piper.
What a messed-up attitude I carry.
I will not run, I will face my troubles.
Like in the forest....
Saplings must fight to reach the Light,
through the older standing established trees.
Looking up and just reaching,
bending, twisting upwards.
The only hope for new growth is in the Light.
You've heard it repeatly . . . . Life is too short to waste.
So, huh... do you know what I think it means ....
Life isn't really too short.
Some days feel like they will never end.
I just waste a lot of time!
Wasting away as time passes me by.
Wondering why it went by so fast.
Wow... I guess I need to stop thinking so much and
Get my rear-end in gear!
7:30am, power company shuts the whole mountain and nearby town down. We have been having brown outs and they are going to do some major maintance till 11am. I, of course, am worried over my cats. God I need to get ahold of myself and stop worrying so...BUT... it is what it is. ;-/ Before I can wonder over to the cats, I need to fire up the wood stove in living to keep the place fairly warm. Finally got a fire started and stove is getting hot. I go out to my fur babies house with wool blankets in hand. by 9am. I sit down in a chair, it's cold, low 20s outside and freezing in the cat house. Thank God I bought fresh water.... One by one my babies crawl up and around as we all stay warm together. It was about 10 when I felt the sun start to warm up the day, and went outside to clean wood furnace while it was cooled down...cold. At 11am sharp, power is on and my babies heat is up and running again. And the wood furance is fired up just waiting for the blower to push the warmth through out the house. Relief!!
I go back inside and shower and get dressed for a work day. Yesterday my man and I spent a long while in the woods gathering wood. We pulled and loaded large log sections, trees down to the wood furnace, out behind the house. I am guessing at least over a cord of wood.
Anyways, today we begin to cut and stack, which means we need fuel to git-er-done!
I begin breakfast, late but we'll just eat later on tonight. After our tummies are fill, it's time for a hard work out. I get my long johns on, and la
I visited my fur children with warm watered down milk and can food. I sat with them for a spell, had a cig and cup of coffee. Time to clean myself up a bit and begin supper. As supper cooks, I need to water my plants through out the house. Supper right on time, 6, it's time to stuff the face. I ate too fast, worked up a hunger that needed fed quickly...;-) Clean up begins in kitchen, dishes washed. One more time to load furnace for the night. NOW it is time to chill out in front of the TV and EP.
Time 9:30pm. What a day!
Inside my head.
I can not move forward.
I try to logic out my behavior.
My mind and heart is one.
I can not get hurt again.
I am safe where I am.
I have been peeking into my mirror that sees deeply into me.
Sometimes it's just too ugly to continue looking and I turn away.
Other times when I get brave enough to, I will stand up straight and face the mirror with open arms, seeking the truth of this heart of mine.
I sigh... and learn from the image I see.
Is my thinking rational? Don't know .... Yet!
Do I have grounds in this so-called insight? .... Yes!
Now what? I watch, listen and gather more facts.
One thing leads to another till all is discoveried.
Most of my life I have this keen sense of intuition.
At times my insecurities cause me to over-react.
Majority of the time, I am right-on.
So, time will tell the rest of the story.
The moment of gratitude
makes a difference in
As I count my blessings, see, feel all the joy and wonder in my life,
I realize how very luck I am.
I look to the Heavens and I speak out loud ... how much I am grateful for.
I pray I never take one single thing for grated.
I am blessed with a great man, a lovely home that is surrounded with beauty and quietness. For my good health, my happy fur children, and the means to never feel the pressure of hunger, and bewilderment again.
It's been a long, hard journey for me....always has been TILL now! *smile*
We all love in the only way we know how. Each of us love....shows love in different ways. We share and care only as we know how to do.
What if a person is really in love, loves with all their heart but has no idea at all how to love... is that possible?
To love, showing of one's love... how do they present their love?
Is it through their labor of love?
Does one shower another one with gifts?
Are words enough to express one's love?
Do people assume that they are loved because they are part of a family or married to one another?
How does one show YOU they love you?
Is it in a way that you can relate to?
In the way that makes you feel loved?
How can you know if another loves you?
Is it just a feeling or the words they use or the actions they have?
Are there souls that are just in love with love?
Is there a limit to one's love?
A person can't be with the one they love...so they love the one they are with thingie?
I guess the only way to learn love is by loving!!
Love maybe a splendid thing but it sure is complicated!
When we bought this 3,400 sq.ft. lovely mountain home, we knew then that there were two major necessities for living so far out .... water and warmth.
We had a fresh spring water well already but worried about dry seasons so we had another deep well dug right off the bat ... two water supplies. cool!
For the warmth ..we have a propane furnace and a large wood stove in the living room we keep a fire burning night and day in. The wood stove keeps this home nice and warm and no need in the propane only for back-up. But still we needed to heat the workshop so I could begin cutting stones for my jewelry...temps of 20 and water do not mix ;-)
We have been looking at wood furnace, inside and outdoors ones.
We found the one that would supply the warmth we needed for this place.
It is a 180,000 btu outdoor wood furnace. We bought it and hired a professional to deliver and install it, a turn key operation.
The tech who was to do this for us, refused the job when he saw this furnace he was picking up. It's a big one and weighed 600 plus pounds. So, here we are... on our own.
It's hard to find someone around to hire here in these mountains *smile*
Things are meant to be sometimes. The well digger/plumber who installed our water lines from well to house..all the lines new inside the house...had came over to see us just at the moment we found out... our professional heating and cooling tech..backed out.
He came by to sell me some 1900's blue, green, smokey colored glass canning jars,... I collect them ;-) It was Christmas and he needed extra money and it was my Christmas gift. cool!!! I had an awesome time deciding which I needed the most...lol..
Anyways, he had just installed a wood/boiler furnace for someone. He was the plumber for the hot water lines coming from the furnace and..sooo...
We asked him if he could help us, he said yes.
Two days ago he picked up our monster of a furnace and delivered it to us. The work begun instantly. How can two men, one little woman get this furnace off the trailer to where it needed to be behind the workshop/house.
Well I won't go into it all and just say...omg! We did it!!!
Yesterday my love and him connected all the ventation and started the fire and...
We have heat folks!
We can keep warm with work, and wood from our land.
We are free from any and all utility companies for our water and heat.
Next spring/summer we go for solar power/panels for our electricity.
It feels good and very rewarding to be so blessed, to be able to live independently. *smile*
Previous PostsThe Cell, posted March 27th, 2015, 2 comments
Good Boy Treat, posted March 14th, 2015, 2 comments
Cuddling, Comics and Crackers, posted March 13th, 2015, 1 comment
Slip...Sliding...Stuck!, posted March 2nd, 2015, 4 comments
The Acorn, posted February 27th, 2015, 4 comments
., posted February 23rd, 2015, 2 comments
Hmmn . . ., posted February 21st, 2015
Ramblings...., posted February 16th, 2015
My Very Own Refuge, posted February 2nd, 2015, 2 comments
Thicket Of Trees, posted January 30th, 2015
All Shook-up, posted January 27th, 2015
New Growth, posted January 25th, 2015
Wasting Away, posted January 21st, 2015
One Day, posted January 17th, 2015
I Am Stuck ...., posted January 9th, 2015
Reflection, posted January 8th, 2015
Pondering Intuition, posted January 5th, 2015, 1 comment
Gratitude, posted January 2nd, 2015
Learning Love, posted December 26th, 2014
Living Independently, posted December 19th, 2014, 1 comment
Greetings, posted December 17th, 2014
Silent Day, posted December 13th, 2014
Just A Swingin', posted December 9th, 2014
Self Hug, posted December 6th, 2014
A Hunting we will, a hunting we will....., posted December 5th, 2014
Practicing Detachment, posted December 5th, 2014
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Sounds of the Body, posted November 30th, 2014
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Born To Be Free, posted November 19th, 2014, 3 comments
One Day At A Time, posted November 18th, 2014
One Soul, Two Minds, posted November 16th, 2014, 1 comment
Silent Season, posted November 13th, 2014, 1 comment
BABY....BABY....OH..BABY, posted October 31st, 2014
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Today is the first day of my new Life, posted October 17th, 2014
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Right On Time, posted September 29th, 2014
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I Can .... I Can .... I CAN!, posted September 24th, 2014
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